Forgot How

I'm sorry love. I forgot how to be myself regardless of whether you accept me or not. I'm sorry, love. I forgot how to be happy in the face of adversity and poverty. I'm sorry my love, I let past hurts and mundane life move me from your arms. It hurt when you forgot how to love me unconditionally. It hurt when you refused to love my lover. But I was wrong. I never should have said we break apart forever. That was cruel. I forgot how to love you too. I release you of my conditions. Do not live in the skin I designed and I will love you naked as I came and perfect as you are. Sister of my heart, my pack.

A Howling

The trouble is last year I was slow. I felt I was saving up my energies. It was all potential and then it exploded into a kinetic awakening of the soul. This year I don't have time to save up. This year I only have time and energy to go, travel, create, open, realize, believe, dance. 

This year is for being. This year is for believing everyday. It is a year for accepting joy instead of accepting misery. This year is for Discovering myself. Discovering functions of myself, wants, needs, loves, spirit, the spiraling dancing Rose girl that now lives with me. It was nice to meet her and I will never leave her side again. It is a year for the wildish woman. A year for the healer, the healer of self wounds. This is a year for the brightest of moons and the warmest of summers, the secret darknesses and the discovery of the stars cold shine. This year is just like any other year. These days are the same as the ones before, but I am different. I have awakened and I will not sleep again.I will hold my bones to me and I will sing up the stones of my heart. I will listen to the wind as she sings to me of forgotten words. I will crack the ice of my soul up against my rib cage and start a fire within me. The deep well within me is now filled, I have wadded within and found the waters to be like color and sound. This is a new beginning born from death of many endings. I will be as will she. Good morning dawn and welcome twilight. 

Celebrating – Spring is Coming

Prayers and Meditations. Hermit and Ametrine.

The beginning of a Calendula oil sun infusion! (Calendula is good for healing the skin).

My Brigid Bath Brew: Sea salt, black lava salt, French green clay,  and Calendula flowers.

FINALLY! A stocked apothecary cabinet thanks to Mountain Rose Herbs (mostly).

Kingdom of Me

I felt stupid.

I felt like a failure.

I felt weak.

I felt angry at everything.

I felt like i was letting something down.

I felt like the world was against me.

No, that I was against me.

Then Eric said "Spring will forgive you, baby."

I realized he was right.

I drew the Hermit, alone with his lantern of truth; it is harder to see with just one lantern.

I drew the ten of swords, trying to let everyone else take the blame and reaching out for,

not help but excuses.

I drew strength...not always brute force.

I drew the chariot...victorious and rejoicing. 

The card that was missing from strength and ten of swords was the two of wands...

This is the Me I want to keep, not the dejected and disappointed me.

Long live the Kingdom of Me.

My body is my temple and I am it's priestess.

Fire and Ice

DReAmCAtCHer

Down down down

Spiral down to me my dearest of dreams

Wrap me away to a drifting floating calm

Catch my dreams for me...

Small Update Of the FunTimes

Store found in downtown P-town:  Clarysage wonderful lady and a well stocked little shop on                              Alberta street, Portland OR

A few recipes started and still ShAKING It UP~
Lavender buds in a carrier oil
Calendula flowers in carrier oil
Valerian tincture (ps, better as a tea, it keeps more nutrients)
St. John's Wort tincture (such a pretty color!)
White Willow Tincture (New favorite herb)

Ginger CRAZE
Ginger chews
Ginger syrup: great on just about everything from oatmeal, to steamed carrots to soda water.










Bath salt beauty. It reminds me of painting, when I am feeling frustrated or angry I go into my little room and whip up the perfect salt to make me feel better. I feel greedy and sexy afterwards. A strange sort of healing.

I call this one Pink Gold: It is Pink Himalayan, Black Kai Hawaii salts and lavender buds.
It also has geranium, neroli, lavender, eucalyptus and tea tree. I added some green clay to mine as well as some baking soda. It is like my luxury salts...so soft and fizzy!

                                    ~Right now I am working on a calendula salve for my dry skin~